Even though you have left your trauma bond, and you feel happy about that, being alone during the holidays feels triggering. Plus, you might have bad memories of your PL ruining the holidays or not caring about them. Or now, as an adult, you remember old family holidays, and you think: it is time to start new traditions. Here’s the great thing about being an adult: you get to choose how you want to celebrate, and it’s time to create new positive traditions.
Choose how you want to celebrate
Creating new holiday traditions can help you reconnect to your values. A value system is a deep-rooted standard that forms the foundation of your actions and life choices.
Now, I know the holidays are a crazy time of year, so I want to make this as simple as possible for you.
Let us be grateful for the people who make us feel safe and seen.
Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours! ❤️
Get clear about your own holiday values.
Here is a list of 10 domains of life that influence our actions. Right now, you are in your unique place in life, so rate each category from 1-10 in importance during this holiday season.
- Family (excluding marriage and parenting)
- Marriage and other intimate personal relationships
- Friends/social life
- Professional life
- Academic life
- Recreation or leisure
- Community life
- Physical self-care
Once you have done this exercise, you have a road map of where you want to put your energy and time this holiday season. Now that you have that, you can intentionally decide HOW YOU want to celebrate. And WHO YOU want to celebrate with.
It’s your holiday, you get to be with it as you choose. Whether that means hosting a hundred-person bash, a simple, casual meal with friends, or feeding homeless people. You are in control of how you experience this holiday season.
Let that be the first holiday tradition. Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with us.