ASSESSMENTS

Trauma Bonds Checklist

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Check your pulse 💕⁠ ⁠ What do you care abou

Check your pulse 💕⁠
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What do you care about? ⁠
Where does your passion lie?⁠
What kind of love do you want to receive? ⁠
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Our motivations shift and change as we do,so they may be radically different than even a year ago. ⁠
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It's time to identify what matters to you in the NOW.

A Pathological Lover is ruthlessly self-centered.

A Pathological Lover is ruthlessly self-centered. Their identity is tied to the amount of money, power, and attention they can attain and the pleasure they can feel. ⁠
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Here is their life's mission:⁠
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They will use, betray and exploit you to meet their needs for:⁠
Money, Power, Pleasure, and Status.⁠
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They believe they are entitled to get their needs met because they are superior.⁠
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You are simply a means to an end.

HARD TRUTH: ⁠ ⁠ When you give someone the powe

HARD TRUTH: ⁠
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When you give someone the power to validate your worth, you also give them the power to take it away.⁠
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A pathological partner will break you to glue you back together and make you believe they are the solution–that you're broken without them.⁠
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This is how they manipulate you into giving up your power and sense of worth.⁠ ⁠
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You are NOT broken or unworthy, and you NEVER were.⁠
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HEALTHY LOVE VS. TOXIC LOVE⁠
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Healthy Love:⁠
You feel safe expressing your innermost thoughts and feelings to your partner. Your partner brings out your best qualities and doesn't try to control or change you.⁠
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Toxic Love:⁠
You experience cycles of bliss and connectedness then sad, angry, or anxious. Your boundaries are disregarded by your partner, which destroys your self esteem. You have a lack of trust in your relationships.

Self-compassion is a skill that can be developed a

Self-compassion is a skill that can be developed and strengthened at any age. It is not an inherent quality we either have or don’t have. ⁠
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Self-compassion may be a foreign concept for some people. This is especially true for those raised in abusive or unloving homes, where compassion may have been non-existent.⁠
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Self-compassion means recognizing the difference between making a mistake, failing, or getting rejected (which are inevitable) and thinking you are worthless. ⁠
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When you have self-compassion, you understand that your worth is unconditional. 💕⁠
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A mantra to bring the week to a close and start ne

A mantra to bring the week to a close and start new: I need to feel it to heal it. ⁠
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👉 Head to the link in my stories to be guided through a healing meditation exercise to help you grieve for what you did not receive in your relationship.

Do you recognize the following scenarios?⁠ ⁠ C

Do you recognize the following scenarios?⁠
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Confronting your partner drives them to accuse you. You begin defending yourself and questioning your sanity; toxic cycles of bliss followed by despair cause you to crave a deeper connection. ⁠
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Yet you are no match for their manipulation and domination. Left⁠
with no choice, you rationalize their abuse and minimize betrayals because their unrelenting intimidation crushes your willpower.⁠
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As your well-being depends on the moments of peace you share with them, you begin to believe your well-being and safety depend on their love, so you compulsively accommodate their needs and deny yours. ⁠
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Feelings of dependency, tangled with forgiveness and denial, emotionally bond you to your intimate terrorist.⁠
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If you or someone you know has suffered through this—if you are suffering through this—you are not alone. You have been in a trauma bond.⁠ ⁠

A question I always hear: How do I avoid getting i

A question I always hear: How do I avoid getting into a TRAUMA BOND relationship? ⁠
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⁠You are the Main Character of your life, so start with what you can control, YOURSELF. ⁠
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Spend time getting to know your Wants, Needs, and Values. ⁠
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Take your time moving into new Relationships, and do not Ignore any RED FLAGS.⁠
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Don't forget to create Self-Protection by setting Personal Boundaries. ⁠
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If you do enter a TRAUMA BOND, educate yourself and leave safely.

Why it doesn’t take two to tango in a trauma bon

Why it doesn’t take two to tango in a trauma bond.

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Your Pathological Lover (PL) is a selfish CON ARTI

Your Pathological Lover (PL) is a selfish CON ARTIST who initially charms and intentionally harms you without remorse. ⁠PLs have a diverse toolbox of INFIDELITY. Your PL has a perpetual desire for sexual excitement, which causes them to BETRAY you continually. ⁠
If you believe your partner may be a PL, consider their behavior against this checklist: ⁠
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✔️ Has a grandiose personality and exaggerates his achievements and talents.⁠
✔️ Abuses drugs and alcohol.⁠
✔️ Requires excessive admiration and appreciation.⁠
✔️ Considers himself superior and special.⁠
✔️ Feels entitled to unreasonable expectations or automatic compliance with his expectations.⁠
✔️ Is regularly aggressive in his communication.⁠
✔️ Exploits others to make money or get ahead.⁠
✔️ Has the opposite emotional response to what is appropriate for the situation.⁠
✔️ Has a parasitic lifestyle, living off of others.⁠
✔️ Has extreme mood changes. ⁠

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